


Weak Spot

by whalehuntingboyfriends



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Hurt/Comfort, OT6, basically just geovin-centric shameless whump, torture cw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 06:56:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2956601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whalehuntingboyfriends/pseuds/whalehuntingboyfriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>They had all been caught before. But not together, not at the same time, not in any way where one of them could be used as leverage against the others, and especially not since they’d started their relationship.</i><br/> <br/>Geoff is kidnapped by a rival gang who knows too much about them - like the fact that they have contacts in the police force, or that he has five big glaring weak spots. The choice is now this - betray the crew, or watch them hurt Gavin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weak Spot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Angelology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelology/gifts).



> **T/W: violence, torture of major characters.**
> 
>  
> 
> This was a Christmas gift for my dear friend Angelology! I hope you like it~ <3 Thanks for giving me an excuse to write angsty h/c stuff bwahaha
> 
> This is just pure, shameless whump in one of those typical 'captured for information' stories whoops

Geoff came to with a splitting headache.

For a long moment he could not work out where he was, only that his head hurt like a bitch and he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe very well, and wherever he was it was cramped and too hot and very, very noisy.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he slowly pulled himself together and tried to get his bearings.

There was something stuffed in his mouth - some sort of cloth, another strip tied tightly around the back of his head keeping it in place. His tongue was very dry, his throat too. It hurt to swallow.

His head hurt because not only had something hit him - he could feel a dull ache at the back of his skull - but he could also smell, faintly, the sweet lingering haze of chloroform, and the pain behind his eyes rang of dehydration.

Drugged and kidnapped, then.

Drugged and kidnapped, and - as he tried to move his hands and feet - tied up in what he now came to realise was the trunk of a car, bumping over rough terrain. He could hear rocks and gravel rattling and crunching under the wheels. The boot of the car was too small - his knees were pulled up uncomfortably against his chest - and it was far too warm in here.

Great.

Fucking _excellent_ , how had this even happened?

It took him a moment to recall, his mind still somewhat foggy in a drugged out haze. They’d been preparing for a heist and he’d been off alone, moving some vehicles into place. They’d caught him by surprise; distracted him by blowing up a car nearby, then while he was dazed from the explosion stunned him with a blow to the back of the head and, it seemed, chloroformed him.

Well.

This wasn’t exactly a first, he’d been in his share of trouble. What he was curious about was who had taken him. His heart was pounding, slamming hard in his chest, but it was mostly from the strain of the uncomfortable position he was in, the drugs still fading from his system. Any nervousness he felt was mostly due to the fact that he didn’t know who’d grabbed him yet.

 _Whoever they are, there’ll be hell to pay_.

The thought made him smile. There had been incidents like this before - every one of the Fake AH Crew had found themselves in a fix at some point - and each time the others had come in to the rescue and wreaked havoc on those responsible. He had no doubts that the others were already on their way to find him - Gavin had been close by when he was taken, scoping out a store in the area. He would have noticed when Geoff didn’t come to meet him. Alerted the others immediately.

The car came to a shuddering halt and he heard the slam of a door and muffled voices from outside.

When the trunk creaked open glaring sunlight spilled in, making him flinch as pain lanced through his skull. A face loomed over him, cast into shadow from the bright sun behind them - Geoff squinted up at them but the next thing he knew a sack was being pulled over his head and he was hauled up and out of the car.

His ankles were still tied together but he didn’t think he could have stood up anyway; his legs tingled with pins and needles, numb from being held in a cramped position for so long, and they collapsed under him as rough hands grabbed his arms and began to haul him away.

Wherever they were, it was terribly bright and sunny; he could see the light through the coarse material of the sack. He struggled half heartedly but the hands had a bruising grip on his arms and he quickly gave up. Moments later he was taken indoors - the light vanished, everything turned darker, cooler - and he felt himself being dragged down a flight of steps before he was thrust into a chair. His wrists, bound behind his back, bumped painfully against the back of the seat.

The sack was whipped off his head and he blinked, squinting, coloured lights dancing across his vision before it finally cleared.

“Rise and shine,” the man in front of him said.

Geoff scowled up at him.

They were in some sort of cellar, lit with dim fluorescent lighting. The air in here was cold but very dry - air conditioning, he realised, put on full blast - the place stark and bare, just plain brick walls and a rough concrete floor. The chair he was sitting on was the only furniture in the room.

He couldn’t hear traffic, or anything from outside.

Some way out of the city then.

“Geoff Ramsey,” the guy continued, and Geoff switched his attention back to him. He’d never seen the guy before in his life; he was a rough looking man, hair cropped thuggishly close to his head, with broad, ungainly features and a massive Roman nose that looked like it had been broken a few times. Perhaps in his mid thirties.

There were a few other people in the room, Geoff realised - twisted his head around to see two more men lurking by the stairs. More belligerent looking fellows.

A sudden blow snapped his head sideways, nearly knocking him off his chair. The shock of it sent him reeling. Pain speared through his cheek - he could feel blood dripping down his face - for a moment he was blinded by just how much it _hurt_ , he really thought his cheekbone might be cracked. When he got himself upright, muffling a groan out into the gag, he realised that Big Nose had a pair of brass knuckles on him.

The guy reached forward and yanked the gag from Geoff’s mouth; he coughed drily trying to get some moisture back, but before he could even begin to recover a second punch landed on the other side of his face. This time it did send him off the chair, but the other two men were quick to haul him back up. His head spun dizzily.

“Wow, okay,” he croaked out, and coughed again. His throat dry as sand. “Didn’t even give me a chance to turn the other cheek. Just went for it. Hey, at least it’s symmetrical.”

To his surprise, the guy actually laughed. 

“That’s funny,” he said. “Surprised I managed to catch you, honestly. Given what I’ve heard I thought it’d be a bit harder.”

“Fuck you, man, we all have off days.”

“Yeah, well, this is about to be a _really_ off day for you.” He tilted his head, staring down at Geoff. “You know who I am?”

“Haven’t a fucking clue.”

“July fifteenth? Bank on City Road?”

“Oh! Ohh, you’re the wankers who ruined our heist.” Geoff’s eyes narrowed as the pieces fell into place.

The Fake AH Crew might be the top dogs in Achievement City, but there were certainly other gangs about. Some they tolerated, some they didn’t, and they had more than enough enemies. Now and then a group might get big enough to become a threat to them; when they started pushing into Geoff’s territory he tended to round up the crew and take them out.

They hadn’t seen these guys for a while. It seemed they’d been biding their time.

“Yeah, I think you’ll find that was _our_ heist,” Big Nose shot back. “We were there first.”

“365 days in a year and you picked the exact same one as us. Inconvenient, pal.”

“We were there _first_ ,” he insisted, something a bit childlike in it. “And you don’t own the city.”

Geoff laughed. It came out raspy, voice cracking a bit embarrassingly because his mouth still felt like the Sahara Desert, but it was loud and it was mocking and it pissed the guy off.

“I think you’ll find that we _do_ ,” he said, and Big Nose shook his head, rolling his eyes.

“Must be nice having friends on the police force to clean up your messes for you, keep the ACPD off your back.”

Geoff’s mouth snapped shut immediately.

No one should have known about Burnie and Gus. They kept that shit under _wraps_. People might suspect that a good number of the cops in the city were corrupt to some degree, but not that they had loyalties with particular gangs. He’d expected these guys to want money, weapons maybe. Not information of that level.

“That’s right,” Big Nose sneered, seeing the way he’d gone silent. “I know about that. And now you’re gonna tell me exactly who your pig friends are, eh?”

“Oh my God.” He rolled his eyes. “Are you new to this? Or do you just not know who I am?”

“I know exactly who you are,” Big Nose said.

“Then you’ll know my crew is coming for me.”

“You mean your boyfriends.”

Geoff fell silent again.

He was beginning to feel terribly uneasy. He had thought this was some run of the mill kidnapping. Just a group of thugs or wannabes who’d caught him off guard and would demand the location of their hideouts, or their treasure, or any number of things. 

But this man knew too much.

He knew about their contacts in the police. He knew about their _relationship_ \- and that was not something they advertised, at _all_ , they had all been in this business long enough to know that it was a hell of a liability for that sort of thing to get around.

 _He hasn’t killed you yet,_ Geoff figured, taking a deep breath through his nose as he tried to calm himself down. _If he wanted you dead you would be dead by now. He wants information. You can hold out. Not the first time you’ve been tortured._

 _You’ve got this, you’ve fucking got this_.

He would die before giving away any information that could harm his crew - his _boyfriends_ \- they all would. All he had to do was hang on for however long it took for the others to get here. And they would get here, he knew.

Big Nose stepped forward but Geoff did not flinch, staring defiantly up at him as he leaned in so close their noses were almost touching.

“See,” the man said quietly. “I know you’re a tough cookie, Ramsey. Sure, your crew are coming for you. Then my men and I are fucked. I’ve heard the stories about Haywood.”

“You’re God damn right," Geoff murmured, and Big Nose laughed, low at the back of his throat. He lifted his clenched fist, ran his knuckles over the side of Geoff’s face. The metal of the brass was cold against his bruised skin.

“So I’m guessing you’re gonna try to hold out until the cavalry gets here. But the thing is, the thing is, you see, you have this big glaring weak spot and it’s gonna make you spill long before your little fuckbuddies get here.”

“Oh yeah?” He kept his voice level but something dangerously close to fear was starting to squirm in the pit of his stomach, because while he’d normally have written it off as an empty threat, the sort of cliched interrogation spiel most kidnappers gave - this guy knew too much, _too much_ , and it was growing steadily more discomfiting.

“Yeah,” Big Nose said, and straightened up again. He turned towards the stairs and waved a hand, and one of his friends ran to open the door. Geoff heard voices, the sound of people moving around in the room beyond the cellar - then the guy returned, accompanied by two more large men dragging a squirming figure between them.

His heart dropped.

_Oh fuck no, oh fuck no, oh fuck fuck fuck no-_

_Gavin._

He was struggling wildly, yelling muffled indistinguishable noises into his gag, but when he looked over and caught Geoff’s eyes he stopped, frozen, as he realised he was not the only one who had been taken. Geoff’s heart was pounding now because _this is not good, this is not fucking good-_

They had all been caught before. But not together, not at the same time, not in any way where one of them could be used as leverage against the others, and especially not since they’d started their relationship. There was a cruel smirk on Big Nose’s face as he motioned for the men to drag Gavin over. 

Geoff’s stomach churned with rage; there was blood dripping from Gavin’s mouth under the cloth gag, running down his chin, and he had one hell of a shiner. His wrists were tied behind his back like Geoff’s, though his legs were free, and he nearly overbalanced when the men holding him thrust him roughly to his knees in front of the chair. His eyes never left Geoff’s, wide and round as dimes.

 _Scared_ , Geoff realised, with a horrible pang. And now he was fucking scared too.

“Nabbed him right near where we caught you,” Big Nose said smugly. “Wasn’t even a challenge.”

“You motherfucker,” Geoff spat, barely aware of the words falling from his lips as he began to struggle too, straining his wrists against the ropes. They were too strong, thick nylon cords bound cruelly tight. “You’ve made a big fucking mistake.”

“Have I?” Big Nose sauntered over to Gavin and nestled a hand in his hair, stroking disturbingly gently for a moment before he suddenly grabbed a handful and yanked his head violently back to look up at him. Gavin made a stifled noise of pain. “I don’t think I have.”

Geoff felt sick. The ropes wouldn’t give.

“Yeah, you have,” he replied, trying not to sound as panicked as he felt. “You hurt me and maybe the others would still kill you quickly. But you lay a finger on _him…_ ” A mocking laugh. “Ryan and Michael will _fuck you up_. You don’t want to know how creative they can get.”

“And I would be very worried about that, except for the part where we’ll be long gone before they ever get here,” Big Nose said. “Y’see, we’ve taken you a long way from the city, Ramsey. Even if they’re on their way here now it’ll take them a good few hours to arrive. And you’ll be giving us what we want much, much faster than that.”

“Oh, y’think?”

“I _know_. Like I said, you’re a tough cookie. But it’ll hurt you if I hurt him.” He traced a finger down Gavin’s cheek, across his jaw, and the other man flinched away, glaring at him. “After all, you love him _so_ much. I get started and soon enough one or the other of you will spill.”

“Fuck you,” was all Geoff could grind out through gritted teeth. He tugged at the ropes again but they still wouldn’t give, and all he could do was glare helplessly at the man. Get angry to cover his fear because _Jesus Christ_ was there fear, sitting cold in his stomach like a block of lead because _Gavin, Gavin, he’s going to hurt Gavin_ and there was nothing he could do about it-

_The others are on their way._

He didn’t doubt it, didn’t doubt they were moving as fast as they could to get to them. But he also knew, innately, that the man was telling the truth. He had been unconscious a good while in the boot of that car and he remembered the bumping of the ground under the wheels as they travelled across off-road terrain. The silence outside this building. Wherever they were it was definitely out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

Big Nose leaned forward and untied Gavin’s gag, pulling it out of his mouth. He doubled over, gagging for a moment, and the man rather condescendingly patted his back.

“There there.”

“Fuck off you potato-headed wanker,” Gavin croaked, squirming away from his hand. He coughed a few more times before glancing over at Geoff and grinning. The motion made fresh blood gush from his split lip.

Geoff forced himself to smile back, but he could see the fear in Gavin’s eyes, despite their every effort to keep things light, to act like they were on top of this, like it was all okay.

It wasn’t okay.

It wasn’t okay at all. He’d seen Gavin stand as close as possible to explosions without flinching, crash his bike a dozen times and walk it off. Put haphazard foolhardy plans into action that had him scraping through by the skin of his teeth.

But this - this was different; they were tied down and helpless and this man somehow knew too much about them, about just how important they were to one another. It was as far from _okay_ as humanly possible.

“That’s not very nice,” Big Nose said with a frown. And then backhanded Gavin across the face, a ringing slap that sent him toppling sideways. Two of the other men moved silently forward to pull him upright again, and their ringleader turned towards Geoff with raised eyebrows.

“You should teach your pet to watch his mouth.”

Geoff swallowed his anger and ground out, “Sure, right after I teach him to fetch.”

“Why don’t you let him know what I want here?” He stepped back, arms folded, and Geoff looked back at Gavin. There was a red mark on the side of his face where he’d been struck, bruised indents where the metal wrapped around the man’s knuckles had hit him. Geoff’s own face was still smarting from the blows he’d been dished out, but Gavin met his eyes defiantly. Scared, sure. About to break? Not likely.

“Big Nose here,” Geoff started, and Gavin glanced over at their captor.

“What? Thought I was… oh, right, see what you mean. Yeah, his is definitely bigger. Christ. Didn’t know that was possible.”

“He’s under the impression we have friends in the police force,” Geoff said.

Gavin caught on quickly and gave a loud laugh. “Ha ha. God, I _wish_ we had friends in the ACPD.”

“I know, right? Would make life a lot easier.”

“That’s cute,” Big Nose said, unimpressed, “But I know you’re lying. It doesn’t matter, you’ll squeal soon enough.” He waved a hand again and one of the men left the room, the door ringing ominously shut behind him. Geoff didn’t want to think about what he might be fetching.

As it was, Big Nose pulled a knife from his belt. He turned it over in his hands slowly and Geoff’s eyes tracked the movements. His heart rate was picking up, his breathing too, much as he tried not to show it. He saw Gavin go tense where he was kneeling and noticed that he, too, was pulling at the ropes around his wrists, but also to no avail.

“See, it’s no fun if you pass out on us,” Big Nose said, rotating the blade in his hands. “Which rather limits my creative options. But, you know, there’s a lot you can do with the simple things.” He tilted his head. “It’s gonna be a shame to fuck up that pretty face.”

Gavin’s breath hitched a bit and Big Nose didn’t miss it. He leaned down and pressed the point of the knife just under his chin, forcing him to tilt his head back to avoid being nicked.

“Two little names,” he said. “Just two, I know that’s all there are. Two little names and we don’t have to go through with this. What do you say, hm?”

Gavin was shaking; he was twitchy at the best of times and Geoff could see his legs trembling sporadically now. But he just grinned, again, teeth bloody, letting that mask of cocky asshole, indoor-sunglasses-wearing, trigger-happy anarchist slip back over his face.

“I say… _me hoy minoy!_ ” he screeched, loudly enough that Big Nose actually jumped a little. And then tutted, clambering to his feet.

“Guess it’s the fun way then-”

“Wait,” Geoff croaked out.

Because God, oh God, Gavin knew what he was doing. They all knew how to bleed for the crew, die for the crew. But Geoff couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ be able to sit here and watch them hurt his boyfriend; it overcame him like a wave suddenly, a crashing terror, and he saw the smile slip a little from Gavin’s face when he noticed just how panicked Geoff was because it was easy to be brave when they were brave together, when they were both pretending, but Geoff couldn’t pretend now, could barely hold it together that he wasn’t completely fucking desperate for anything other than this.

“Wait,” he said, and forced his voice to stay level even if some screaming inner part of him wanted to _beg_. “Don’t hurt him, he doesn’t know anything, he doesn’t know who’s on the force. You want to fuck someone up, fuck _me_ up, I’m the leader of the crew-”

“Oh, Geoff.” Big Nose walked over to him. Grabbed his face in one hand and _squeezed_ , pressing against the bruises and scrapes from the brass knuckles. It hurt, a burning stabbing pain that made Geoff nauseous.

“See, that’s not the _point_ , Geoff. The point is you’re going to give me exactly what I want while sitting right there in that chair with no one even touching you.”

 _Humiliation_ , Geoff realised, _break Ramsey down without laying a finger on him_.

And it was working, by God it was working, and as Big Nose let him go and strode back over to Gavin he thought he might throw up.

The other three men sauntered over as well, and Geoff’s stomach clenched at the sight of them looming over Gavin. He looked far too small and vulnerable on his knees, even if he was staring up at them defiantly, teeth nearly bared with the force of his grin.

The beating began.

One of the men held Gavin by the shoulders, keeping him upright while the others hit and kicked and punched. Geoff closed his eyes, turning his face away - couldn’t watch - but it did nothing to block out the sounds. The horrible thump and crunch of boots and fists striking flesh. Gavin’s involuntary grunts and whimpers of pain; Geoff could tell he was trying not to make a noise but they slipped out anyway.

He forced his eyes open when there was a particularly terrible crack and Gavin started coughing; there was blood dripping from his nose by now, from his lip, another cut across his eyebrow. Big Nose had landed a brutal kick to his ribs and he barely gave him a chance to recover before he struck out again. Gavin coughed drily, crumpling back, heaving for breath in little wheezing gasps but not seeming to get much air in.

Big Nose turned to Geoff then. Gave a nasty little grin.

“We can stop at any time,” he said. “Your call.”

“Fuck you,” Geoff replied. He wanted to shout it, scream it, but it came out as little more than a croak. “Fuck you you motherfucking fuck, I hope Ryan fucking skins you alive.”

“Now there’s an idea,” was all Big Nose said, and Geoff stared at him, horrified. All he did, though, was turn back to Gavin. Adjusted the brass knuckles on his fist before leaning forward and punching him in the stomach so hard that his face turned white and the men barely stepped out of the way before he bent over and threw up.

Geoff closed his eyes again. His heart was slamming so hard in his chest that it _hurt_ , a terrible burning ache spreading up through his gut. He felt feverish, cold sweat mixed with blood running down his swollen bruised face. He was shaking and couldn’t stop.

He had seen Gavin injured before; he had seen him shot and stabbed and beaten up, had nursed burns from explosions gone wrong, broken bones from crashing vehicles too many times. 

This was worse, the cruel systematic infliction of pain while he sat here _helpless_ and he knew, _knew_ it was only going to get worse because he knew how this went. He’d done it before. You started small, punches and kicks, because you let it build up and then if they still didn’t spill you had bigger and more terrible things to lead up to.

“Alright there, kid?” Big Nose asked. He reached out and brushed some of Gavin’s hair out of his face; Geoff’s blood boiled at the sight of him touching the other man.

Gavin’s eyes were shut, he was panting. Leaned forward and spit mouthfuls of blood out, splattering the concrete floor with dark spots. He was swaying, shaking, only the grip on his shoulders keeping him upright. His face was already beginning to bruise visibly, one eye nearly swollen shut, chin caked in the blood that was still streaming from his nose.

It hurt to look at him.

It hurt like a stab in the gut and Geoff began pulling at the ropes around his wrists again. Tugging and tugging until it hurt, until he felt his wrists chafe and grow sticky with blood. But he was bound too tightly, he could do nothing but _sit here_.

“Tongue getting any looser?” Big Nose prompted.

Gavin turned his head feebly towards him, squinting through his good eye.

“Go fuck yourself,” he rasped, and Big Nose just laughed.

“Two little names and we can be done here. You’re tougher than I thought, though. My money’s on Julius Pringles over there cracking first.”

Geoff said nothing, couldn’t even bring himself to retort. Gavin’s eyes slid over to him, bloodshot and slightly unfocused by now, and Geoff could see the desperation in them - _don’t do it, don’t crack_. Fucking Big Nose had the right idea; if it was him taking the beating it would have been fine but watching, watching was something else. But Gavin stared at him earnestly, almost pleading for him to stay strong, and Geoff forced something like a smile for him.

 _They’re coming. Just hang in there, they’re coming for us_. He heartened himself with that thought, imagined all the ways Ryan would exact vengeance on their captors for this. Oh, he was going to _enjoy it_.

 _They’re coming. You’ll be fine. Gav’ll be fine_.

The door to the cellar opened and the man who had left before came back in. He was lugging a heavy basin of water, sloshing over the edges slightly as he carried it down the stairs and set it on the floor. Big Nose walked over and dipped a finger in, pulling it back immediately.

“Fuck that’s cold,” he said, sounding very pleased about it.

The room was already freezing from the air conditioning; Geoff was shivering a little even in his suit. He watched with growing trepidation as Big Nose’s man dragged Gavin up to kneel before the bucket.

“You like swimming, Gavin?” Big Nose asked.

Gavin was still gulping for air, coughing drily every now and then. Choking on the blood that was running down into his mouth.

“I hope you’re good at holding your breath,” Big Nose continued. “Gonna be hard with those ribs, though. I’ve heard drowning is actually a really painful way to go. When you breathe in the water, feels like you’re burning. Have you heard that, Geoff?”

Geoff didn’t deign to respond. He himself was breathing heavily and far too fast. He could see Gavin shaking, and when Big Nose grabbed his hair and started pulling his head down he began to struggle feebly. It did little good; he was too weak and the men had a strong grip on his arms. He barely had time to suck in a gasp of air before Big Nose shoved his head down into the bucket.

A frozen moment of silence followed; Gavin wasn’t moving much, held in place as he was. Geoff could hear his own heart, thundering against his ribs, too-fast too-fast too-fast. 

Then he heard a muffled spluttering cough - Big Nose was right, with his ribs damaged as they were Gavin couldn’t hold his breath for long - and suddenly he was thrashing wildly in the grip of the guards. Struggling and struggling like his life depended on it, nearly seizing with his frantic movements, even injured as he was, to the point where the two men were working hard to hold him still, to keep him pinned down. Big Nose still had a firm grip on his hair, kept his head held down under the water.

Geoff was struggling, _struggling_ not to react, to keep a stoic face on, to try and at least appear strong but inside he wanted to cry, he wanted to sob. A terrible burning ache was welling up in his chest because Gavin was in pain, in _pain_ and _you’re going to kill him for fuck’s sake let him up let him breathe you’re going to kill him-_

He didn’t realise he was saying it out loud until Big Nose looked up at him with a mocking smirk. The words had been falling from his lips, unbidden, _pleading_. Desperate and broken and revealing all too well that yes, this was his weak spot, this was his weak spot and-

_You can end it-_

No. _No_ , he wouldn’t, he _couldn’t_ , couldn’t sell out the team like that. It would put them all in danger, and once he spilled one thing they would press for more-

He couldn’t-

He pulled and pulled at the ropes. His wrists were on fire and he could feel blood trickling down his arms where the rough nylon had cut into his skin but they wouldn’t give even an inch, only seemed to be getting tighter the more he tugged at them.

Gavin was still struggling, though his movements were growing weaker now, and at last, at last Big Nose yanked his head out of the water and dragged him back by the hair before throwing him to his side on the ground.

For a moment Gavin did not breathe. He was choking and choking as though he was still submerged, water bubbling up between his blue-tinged lips. Then he turned his head and coughed, again and again; the most terrible deep wrenching coughs Geoff had ever heard, seeming to rip from deep inside him. He gasped heaving sobs between them, eyes red and watering, and Big Nose had barely pulled him upright than he was bending forward again and vomiting water.

“Come on, come on,” Big Nose said. Again with that terrible tenderness to his touch, alternating cruelty with kindness as he smoothed Gavin’s wet hair back from his face, held him steady as he heaved. “I know it hurts. But it doesn’t have to.”

Geoff realised there were tears running down his cheeks; he blinked them away angrily. The pain in his chest had bubbled down to his stomach, a deep churning in his gut and he wanted so badly to reach out, to hold Gavin, to soothe him-

(To tear apart the men responsible, by God he wanted to see them _bleed_ -)

“The names,” Big Nose insisted again.

Gavin was beyond talking, it seemed, he could barely take a breath without coughing. They all turned to Geoff and he stared back at them, bared his teeth and _snarled_ despite the fact that he knew he was a mess, that all his terrible weakness was showing on his face.

“Fuck you,” was all he could spit. It hurt to talk as his battered face continued to swell. “Fuck you, _fuck you_ , burn in hell you fucking cocksuckers.”

“You’re the one doing this to him, you know,” Big Nose replied, and Geoff spat at him. He had always been able to spit impressively far and even from the distance of the chair it landed on the side of Big Nose’s face. He just raised his eyebrows and responded by wiping the saliva off his cheek and then using the same hand to calmly slap Gavin across the face, so hard he fell to the ground again.

“Like I said,” Big Nose repeated. “You’re the one doing it to him.”

_Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you._

They dragged Gavin towards the bucket again and this time he started to flinch, shaking his head wildly, trying weakly to get away. Geoff could see him hyperventilating, his chest rising and falling in too-fast shallow breaths, rasping so loudly he could hear it from where he sat. Big Nose pushed his head under again and this time he began to struggle immediately. No matter how exhausted he was his body continued to jerk and flail, involuntarily trying to get _out_ because he was drowning, actually _drowning_ -

Geoff closed his eyes.

He couldn’t look; he felt so sick now, so sick, a heavy faint roaring in his ears like there was water trapped in them. He wanted the others, he wanted the others so _badly_. 

He needed Ryan here; Ryan always knew how to take care of things. Needed Jack’s comforting touch. Needed to see Michael and Ray go to Gavin and _help him_ , help him the way Geoff couldn’t, here helpless on this chair.

They pulled Gavin out sooner this time and Geoff opened his eyes again. Saw him gasp soundlessly for a moment, mouth opening and closing as he tried to suck in air and failed, lungs full of liquid before he turned and threw up again. Nothing but water, splattered with blood from his split lip. He was shivering violently by now, lips purple from the cold. The blood had mostly washed from his face in the dousing but now the bruises stood out, stark and terrible, already purpling. He could barely breathe; it was all coming in awful wheezing gasps and pained croaks. When the guards let him go he fell to his side and convulsed on the damp concrete, shaking all over.

“Let him rest a minute,” Big Nose said.

Geoff could have sobbed in relief; they stepped back away from Gavin, one of them drawing the basin away to refill it. 

Big Nose stepped towards Geoff and leaned forward, hands resting on the arms of his chair, so close their faces were nearly touching. Geoff longed to jerk his head forward and head butt him square in the middle of the face. But he couldn’t, afraid of what he might do to Gavin if he tried.

“You’re shaking,” Big Nose said. Brought his hands up to Geoff’s shoulders and held him still. “Enjoying the show?”

“I’m going to kill you slowly.”

“All these _threats_ ,” Big Nose tutted, “Yet you’re seconds away from snapping.”

He wasn’t - _he wasn’t -_

Except he was, deep down; he wanted nothing more than to get this to stop by any means possible. 

Big Nose brought his hand up to Geoff’s face. Pressed his cold fingers against his lips. His hand was sticky-wet with Gavin’s blood and Geoff could smell it, sharp and tangy. It made him lightheaded; when Big Nose pulled his fingers away he ducked his head and tried frantically to wipe it off his mouth. Could taste it. Retched.

“We don’t have to hurt him any more,” Big Nose whispered.

Geoff shook his head, turning his face away. And perhaps it should have been humiliating, he was tied here helpless, on the verge of tears in front of his captor, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about anything other than the fact that Gavin was in pain and he could do nothing.

Finally Big Nose sighed.

“Suit yourself. How long do you think you’ve been down here?”

Geoff didn’t answer.

“Half an hour,” Big Nose replied. “We’ve been at this for half an hour.”

A terrible coldness overtook Geoff. It felt like much, much longer. There was no logistical way the others were anywhere close to arriving, even if they knew where they were by now.

“See, I have time,” Big Nose said. He walked back over to Gavin and gestured for his men to pull him upright. Tapped him on the cheek until his eyes blearily focused.

“How about you? Feel like dropping any names yet?”

Gavin opened his mouth. Tried to speak, coughed again, and spat blood and water all over Big Nose’s shoes before he finally rasped out something that Geoff couldn’t hear, it was so quiet.

“Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you, pal.” Big Nose leaned in closer and Gavin murmured something again. Big Nose pulled back, face twisting in confusion.

“Did you just say _Mark Nutt_?”

Geoff let out a laugh. A high, hysterical, terrible laugh, and Gavin turned his gaze painfully towards him. He could barely move but his lips still twitched into something like a smile, and that, that fuelled Geoff a little, that Gavin wasn’t broken, not yet.

Big Nose realised very quickly that they were mocking him. All he did, though was let out a heavy sigh.

“I mean, this is all your choice, you know. I’m just going to dunk you again now. Come on.”

All traces of amusement drained from Gavin’s face as the cellar door opened and the basin of water was returned. He broke into another fit of coughs, falling limp as the men manhandled him back in front of the bucket.

“What’s that?” Big Nose asked, leaning in again; Geoff hadn’t even heard Gavin speak, his voice was so hoarse by now. “ _Please no?_ Look, kiddo, I’m sorry but this is how it works. You don’t scratch my back and I can’t scratch yours.”

Geoff could feel himself trembling now - Gavin was coughing so much he couldn’t even get a breath in before Big Nose was pushing his head down into the water. This third time was the worst; his thrashing was weaker now but still pronounced. Little desperate jerks of his shoulders. Geoff’s eyes were burning as he watched; the silence that had fallen in the room somehow only seemed to heighten the horror of what was happening before him.

Too much time passed.

Too much time; they’d normally pull him out by now. Big Nose turned to him as he realised it. Gave a cruel little grin.

“Yeah, he’s not coming up until you give us a name, Ramsey.”

“You’re going to kill him.” It came out a hoarse croak, and Big Nose responded by pushing Gavin’s head in deeper; his whole body jolted, nearly spasming.

“No,” Big Nose said patiently, “ _You’re_ going to kill him.”

Oh God, oh God; Geoff could see Gavin’s chest seizing where he was bent over the bucket; he was breathing in water and choking it out again and he had nearly gone limp in their grasp and-

And Big Nose still wasn’t pulling him out-

_A fake name, give them a fake name, buy some time, at least let him get a breath-_

“Okay!” he blurted out. He didn’t even need to fake the desperation in it; his voice cracking partway through. “Okay, okay, enough, just - let him go, let him go, I’ll tell you!”

Big Nose raised his eyebrows, turning towards him expectantly. Still didn’t let Gavin go, obviously waiting.

“Greg Miller,” Geoff choked out.

He was a detective with the ACPD who Geoff was fairly certain worked for another rival gang. He hoped the lie was convincing enough - dropped his eyes as he said it, forced it out between clenched teeth like he was ashamed of giving in.

To his immense relief Big Nose hauled Gavin out of the water, dragging him back, one arm looped around his waist to keep him upright. He thumped him on the chest until Gavin coughed, spewing out water. His eyes were shut by now, head lolling to the side, obviously very out of it. Shaking hard with his lips nearly turned blue, legs limp and useless under him.

“Greg Miller,” Big Nose repeated.

“Yeah,” Geoff said, jaw still clenched tightly. “Detective Inspector. Moved to AC a few years ago. We bought him off pretty quickly.”

Big Nose stared at him from where he was crouched on the floor, holding Gavin against his chest. Then he pulled his eyes away from Geoff, and looked down at Gavin, who was huffing short shallow breaths through his nose.

“I see,” Big Nose said.

Geoff’s heart was beating so fast it hurt. _Buy it, buy it, buy it_ , he thought - but Big Nose was sighing now, reaching with one hand down to his belt. He drew out the knife from before and Geoff’s stomach dropped. 

“See, Geoff, I have this gift of knowing when people just aren’t telling me the truth,” he said. Stood up then, dragging Gavin with him, his arm still hooked around the smaller man’s waist keeping him upright. The tip of the blade traced across Gavin’s throat, down over his collarbone. “And even if I didn’t, I know for a fact that Miller is crooked - but it’s not the Fake AH Crew he works for.”

A beat.

“You lied to me,” Big Nose said, sounding almost childishly disappointed.

Geoff opened his mouth - to say what, he wasn’t sure, to try and salvage the situation somehow - but before he could say a word Big Nose suddenly drove the knife down, into Gavin’s shoulder, and Geoff jumped a mile, a panicked yell escaping his lips.

Gavin screamed; or tried to, his voice was nearly gone and it came out faint and hoarse, but his eyes had snapped open and he _jerked_ , lips drawn back, eyes squeezing shut again instantly.

“And I _really_ ,” Big Nose continued, “ _Really_ don’t like being lied to.” He twisted the knife in deeper and Gavin let out another ragged cry. Was still trying to gulp in air and cough at the same time; water and tears streaming down his face.

And Geoff-

Geoff was engulfed by an agony so acute that it crippled him for a moment. Gavin’s cries seemed to pierce his very heart; it burned in his chest, an actual physical pain. He flinched, unable to tear his gaze away from Gavin’s face, from the dark blood blooming over his shoulder. The way he jerked, mouth dropping open soundlessly when Big Nose yanked the knife out roughly, with enough force that blood spattered across the concrete floor and some landed warm on Geoff’s face.

“Now this is your last _fucking_ chance,” Big Nose said. Traced the knife up Gavin’s cheek, leaving a thin red line in its wake before he pressed the tip of the sharp blade to the outer corner of Gavin’s left eye.

“Tell me who they are,” he ordered, “Or I swear to fucking God I will cut out his eyes. Then his tongue. Then anything else I need to to make you talk.”

Geoff couldn’t breathe.

He was seized with fear, a solid heavy pressure against his lungs. For a moment he felt so lightheaded that he thought he was going to pass out. The pain from where he’d been punched with the brass knuckles was a faint burn at the back of his mind but it rose up now, seeming to set his skull on fire. His vision blurred at the edges and all he could see clearly was the point of that knife, quivering inches away from Gavin’s eye.

He blinked a few times, struggling for breath. Saw Gavin drag his gaze up to look at him. His eyes were lidded, clouded with pain, but they cleared a bit when they met Geoff’s. And despite how out of it he was, how much pain he was obviously in - still a faint desperate plea under it all. _Don’t do it_.

Big Nose pressed the tip of the knife towards Gavin’s eye socket and he let out a low whimper. It was that noise that did it, that little terrible noise, the apex of the cumulative effect of everything Geoff had just witnessed. The words came spilling out of him in a great rush, like a burst dam, barely within his control.

“Michael Burns! Michael Burns, okay, and - and Gus Sorola.”

Big Nose lowered the knife, tossing it to the floor, and for a moment, for a single moment, it felt like a great pressure had been lifted off Geoff’s shoulders, like it had all drained away.

Then the guilt hit, slamming into him so suddenly that he nearly choked.

_What have I done?_

_What the fuck have I done?_

“Burns and Sorola.” Big Nose turned the names over in his mouth as though tasting them. His eyes never left Geoff’s, searching for something, and then he let go of Gavin and let him crumple to the floor.

“Now that’s more like it,” Big Nose said, stepping up over to Geoff. “You see? It wasn’t that hard, in the end.”

“Fuck you,” Geoff mumbled, and looked away, down at the floor.

Shame burned low in his gut. _You sold out Burnie and Gus. You fucking sold out Burnie and Gus you - you put the whole team in danger and-_

 _And I_ had to _,_ some other part of him screamed, _he was going to hurt Gavin, he was fucking hurting Gavin_ -

But Gavin was lying still and trembling on the floor and Geoff hadn’t saved him. Hadn’t saved him because he had still been injured and now they knew about Gus and Burnie anyway.

“Forty-five minutes,” Big Nose said smugly. “Didn’t even take an hour before you cracked. You know what, Geoff, I’ve heard a lot about you. About your whole crew. You think you’re really something, don’t you.”

Geoff grit his teeth. His face was burning, stinging, bile beginning to rise up in his throat. 

Big Nose reached out and grabbed his jaw, jerking his face up to look at him.

“But you know what?” he asked. “You’re not really all that. You’re _weak_ , Ramsey. You can’t expect to be top dog if you’re gonna crack like an egg the moment someone touches one of your little lovebirds.” He snorted, loudly. “It’s fucking _pathetic_ is what it is. You can’t have it all. A crew and the city _and_ your little harem of boyfriends. I mean, I could understand if you just wanted to fuck him.” 

He glanced over his shoulder at Gavin, sprawled on the floor. Gave a nasty sort of smile. “I’d stick my dick in that too, if I was into that. But no. You _love_ him.” He sneered the word like it was a curse, like it was something to be terribly ashamed of.

“And look where that got you. Like I said. Pathetic.”

An overwhelming hatred for the man took Geoff over; he mustered all the saliva he could and spat it into the man’s face.

He was the one who got slapped this time, a ringing backhand that knocked him sideways off the chair. The pain that exploded in his face blinded him for a moment; it had landed exactly where he was punched before and he felt blood clogging up in his nose before it started to run down his face. He choked on it, on the smell and taste of it sliding down his throat, barely even registering he was being lifted up until he was put back on the chair.

“As I said,” Big Nose repeated, looking down at him with contempt. “You’re weak. But it’s worked out for me, hasn’t it?” He gave a wide grin. “Thanks for your cooperation.”

Geoff couldn’t bring himself to answer. After a moment Big Nose stepped back, muttering to his men, and one of them moved up and looped another rope between the one around Geoff’s wrists, pulling it back and binding him to the back of the chair. The others moved forward and grabbed Gavin, dragging him to the far wall. They untied his hands but he was too weak to even move, lying limp as they propped him against the wall, head slumped forward. One of them produced a set of handcuffs and chained him by one wrist to a drain pipe along the skirting board.

“Enjoy your last hour or so together,” Big Nose said with a grin, and headed for the door. The rest of the men trailed out after him; one of them grabbed the basin as he went and then turned and tossed its contents out over Gavin. He sat up with a gasp when the icy water hit him, startled back into proper consciousness, and Geoff let out an angry hiss, glaring daggers at the man’s back as he went back up the stairs.

The basement door shut and they were alone.

“Gavin,” he burst out frantically, as soon as their captors had left. “Oh Jesus, Gav, are you okay?”

Gavin groaned, letting his head thud back to rest against the wall. He turned his head to the side and coughed weakly, more water coming up. His shoulder was still bleeding sluggishly.

“Peachy,” he croaked. His voice sounded like he’d swallowed sandpaper and shook even as he spoke. He was shivering, soaked through, and as Geoff watched he curled in on himself, wincing at every movement as he tried to draw his knees up to preserve some warmth.

“Fuck, Gavin, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Gavin tried to reply but couldn’t get more than the start of a word out before he started coughing every time, terrible deep chest coughs. After a moment he turned away and threw up yet again, spewing more water out onto the floor. When he’d finished he slumped back, exhausted, panting shallow breaths.

Geoff was staring at him in horror and when Gavin dragged his gaze over to him he somehow, somehow managed to muster a weak grin.

“Better out than in,” he rasped, and Geoff could have cried, because he was so brave, so fucking brave and Geoff had been weak and Gavin was still bleeding all over the floor.

“Gavin, I-”

“Not now, Geoff.”

He flinched for a moment, thinking Gavin about to chastise him. To get mad for breaking, for giving in. But Gavin was not looking at him angrily.

“Priority number-” he broke off, coughing again, and then winced, hand going to his ribs as the motion jolted them. “-number one is getting the hell out of here.”

Geoff nodded. And with that objective in mind - _we can sort it all out later, don’t think about it now, just get the fuck out of here -_ his head cleared a little. Escape he could focus on, escape he could do. 

His gaze fell upon the knife that Big Nose had left lying on the floor. Gavin noticed it at the same time.

“Can you get to it?” Gavin asked, and Geoff grit his teeth.

“I can fucking well try.”

He rocked forward, trying to tip the chair over, only to pull up short. Tried tilting it sideways but failed again.

“It’s stuck to the floor,” he said, a little hysterically. “The fucking chair is stuck to the fucking floor. Why - why would you even do something like that.”

“Like a café,” Gavin mumbled, and Geoff blinked. He was still speaking really quietly.

“What?”

“Y’know. At some cafés the tables and chairs are stuck to the…” he trailed off, coughing again, and Geoff pressed his lips together. Gavin was still obviously in a lot of pain; he seemed permanently out of breath and had one hand pressed to his stomach, holding his ribs.

“That drainpipe,” he said, jerking his head towards it. “How sturdy is that?”

Gavin reached out and shook at the pipe he was cuffed to.

“It’s in good nick,” he said with a frown. The cellar itself seemed fairly well maintained. He shifted around and braced his feet against the wall then wrapped the chain of the cuffs around his hand and pulled back, trying to jostle the pipe to see if he could break it away. It didn’t so much as budge and after a minute he fell back with a cry, hand coming up to clutch his injured shoulder.

“Gav! You okay?”

“F-fine, I’m fine. Give me a minute.” He slumped back against the wall, eyes shut. Gasping softly.

The knife was on the floor between them and after a minute Gavin opened his eyes again and shifted as far along the floor as he could, until his arm was drawn taut, the chain of the handcuff extended as far as it could get. He stretched out his other arm, but couldn’t reach the knife. Tried with his leg and still couldn’t get to it.

“I am afraid there is nothing to be done,” he declared solemnly. “I will have to chew off my own arm to escape.”

Geoff started to laugh, a little frantically, and somewhere along the line ended up on the verge of tears again. Gavin was resilient as fuck and Geoff could only be grateful that he wasn’t catatonic or unconscious. Was suddenly selfishly grateful that he was, for all intents and purposes, acting quite like his usual self despite what had just occurred.

“Geoff, Geoff, please don’t freak out,” Gavin said, looking a bit distressed. Geoff realised that he was the one breathing too fast now, almost panicking, but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t help it after what he’d just seen and how helpless he’d felt and how even now things were bearing down upon them, nearly hopeless, and he knew that if Big Nose came back in here now he’d kill Gavin first-

There was a rattling clatter and he snapped back to attention. Saw Gavin back by the wall again, pulling at the handcuffs.

“They’re not gonna give,” Geoff choked out, and Gavin looked over at him. He was pale from blood loss but there was something determined to the set of his face.

“Yeah, the chain won’t,” he replied. “But my hand will.”

Geoff closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose.

He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it but Gavin had done this before - Ray and Ryan too - and right now he couldn’t exactly see another way out. But he didn’t want to look, didn’t think he could deal with having to watch Gavin break his own thumb on top of everything else.

He didn’t hear much except a grunt of pain from Gavin followed by a dull sort of thud, opening his eyes in time to see him falling back, clutching his hand to his chest. The handcuffs rattling empty against the drain pipe behind him. It seemed he’d been playing up his injuries a bit so Big Nose would underestimate how much strength he had left; not by much, though, it seemed like now he’d used up the last of his energy getting loose.

“Not fun,” Gavin said through gritted teeth. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“You’re free,” Geoff said, and Gavin sat up a bit, carefully. Turned to him and grinned. The motion tugged at the cut on his cheek, had it dribbling blood again.

“That is indeed my name, Geoffrey.”

He tried to stand up and immediately crumpled to the floor again, so fast that for a second Geoff thought he’d fainted.

“Gavin!”

“M’fine, m’fine.” He didn’t sound fine. “I… sorry, I don’t. Don’t think I can walk, I got really dizzy.”

It was glaringly obvious that he was running on adrenaline, that the desperate need to escape was the only reason he hadn’t passed out already. All Geoff could do was watch helpless as he dragged himself up on his hands and knees and crawled to the knife. Picked it up and managed to pull himself over to the chair where he collapsed against Geoff’s legs, panting.

“Gavin, Gavin.” His name was slipping out like a mantra, like Geoff couldn’t even control it; it was a relief just to touch him, to feel his head resting against his legs where he’d fallen. Gavin pressed his face against the side of Geoff’s knee for a minute, getting his breath back, before lifting the knife and starting to saw through the ropes.

It was painfully slow work. He was doing it with his non dominant hand, the other useless with its broken thumb, and he was shaking so much that he kept dropping the knife. Geoff was on tenterhooks, paranoid that at any moment the men would come back in and find them halfway through their escape.

Finally, finally he felt the ropes loosen and snap, falling away from his ankles. He stretched his legs out, grimacing as the circulation returned, and twisted his head to watch as Gavin crawled around the back of the chair and started on the ropes around his wrists. His movements were weaker, sloppier now after the strain of cutting for so long, but after what felt like forever Geoff felt the ropes give and he pulled his arms around in front of him, wincing as they tingled with pins and needles, stiff and sore after being held in one position for so long.

Now free he slid off the chair to his knees and immediately pulled Gavin into his arms. Gavin practically collapsed against him, head falling forward onto Geoff’s chest as for a moment he just let himself be held. They were both shaking, both breathing too hard, and Geoff reached up to stroke his hair gently. Didn’t hold him too hard for fear of hurting him more.

He pressed his lips to Gavin’s forehead, his cheek, avoiding anywhere that looked bruised. His skin was freezing to the touch and clammy, and Geoff frowned, disconcerted by just how cold he was. He could hear Gavin’s breathing, wheezing and rattling in his chest. It didn’t sound good.

“I’m sorry,” he found himself saying again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

“Geoff,” Gavin cut in gently. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“We need to get out of here first, okay?”

Geoff nodded, bringing his mind back to the task at hand. He started to stand up but paused, head reeling as for a moment the world flashed and spun around him. 

The blows to the head were catching up to him, the faint nausea from being on edge for so long, and it took a minute for his vision to clear. He reached down and helped Gavin up. The other man immediately collapsed against his side. His legs were trembling and could barely hold him upright; Geoff was left supporting most of his weight.

He frowned, unsure how to go about this. Gavin was small enough that he could normally carry him around with ease but not here and now, not when he was injured as well and they were outnumbered and lost and all they had between them was a knife.

 _Slowly. Carefully. Sneak out of here. Get somewhere safe. Wait for the others_.

He took the knife from Gavin’s hand. Looped his arm around the other man’s waist and took a few steps. Gavin stumbled after him and Geoff could feel him shaking with the effort of staying upright. They pushed on. He got Gavin to the stairs and lowered him to sit on the bottom step. Pressed a finger to his lips and then snuck up as quietly as he could.

The cellar door was heavy but not sealed very well; it didn’t appear to have a lock and there was a space between the door and the wall. Geoff pressed his eye to this gap, looking out.

They were in a house of some sort. He could see an entrance foyer, staircase and corridor leading off it. One man sitting with his back to the door, guarding it. No sign of anyone else.

Geoff steeled himself, taking a few deep breaths. And then pushed the door open and lunged out, falling upon the guard. He clapped a hand over his mouth and slit his throat fast as lightning. Pulled him back against his chest and held him as he bled out, feeling hot liquid run over his hands, coating him to the wrists in red. He lowered the body to the floor, searched it for car keys and then paused, a sudden vindictive rage taking him over.

“Fuck you, you son of a bitch.” It wasn’t Big Nose, but he was still one of them, still responsible, and Geoff had never dealt kindly with anyone who crossed him. He stabbed the knife into the dead man’s chest. Drew it out again and brought it down three more times into his neck, his shoulder, the side of his face, viciously ripping it out of his flesh each time and watching blood soak into the carpet under them.

He was breathing heavily when he stood up, trembling with rage. It had felt good to do that but he didn’t dwell on it now. Headed back down into the cellar.

Gavin was where he’d left him, sitting on the stairs and slumped against the railing. He looked up at Geoff’s approach and frowned to see him covered in so much blood.

“Took care of the guard,” Geoff said. “We need to be quick.”

He hadn’t thought he’d the strength to carry Gavin before, but his heart was racing and he was pumped up on adrenaline now. His head still hurt but he didn’t feel dizzy, and they really did need to move quickly, so he bent down and picked him up carefully, slinging him over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

Gavin gasped a little. “Watch the ribs!”

“Sorry,” Geoff replied, trying not to jostle him too much as he stood. He got up the stairs and looked out into the house again - still no one around, though he could hear voices upstairs. Quickly he made for the door and opened it, heading out.

Instantly he was struck with terrible heat. He blinked, squinting, his eyes adjusting to the bright sunlight.

Desert. They were out in the desert, bare orange plains dotted with scrub stretching out in every direction. Nothing in sight other than the house they had been held in, and a few tracks heading out into the distance that were less proper roads and more well-worn paths where vehicles had taken the same route over and over.

Shit, they really had been taken way out from AC.

There were cars parked along the side of the house and he took out the keys, pressed the button to see which one unlocked. It turned out to be a terrible little bomb of a thing but it was all they had and there was no time to lose. He deposited Gavin in the passenger seat and got in. The engine revved noisily when he put it in ignition but there was no movement from the house. He didn’t stick around to see if anyone had heard, driving off down one of the trails immediately.

* * *

  
They had no map.

They had no map and it was later in the day than he’d thought. Fairly soon it began to get dark. He had no idea where they were and everything around them looked the same; rocky outcrops and the occasional tree. He didn’t know which direction the city was in, or whether anyone was pursuing them.

Gavin had passed out some time ago and was sleeping fitfully. He kept waking himself up with little coughing fits before slipping back under again and Geoff’s levels of concern had skyrocketed. But there was nothing he could do to really help so he was forced to just drive on.

And then, of course, the car broke down.

It’d had little petrol to begin with and now, barely an hour after they’d set off, it sputtered to a stop. Geoff turned the key a few times to no avail. Realised quickly what had happened.

“Damnit!” he cried, and punched the steering wheel. “God fucking damn it!”

Gavin jolted awake at the noise, flinching, and Geoff forced himself to calm down.

“What’s happening?” Gavin asked, groggily.

“Out of gas,” Geoff replied, and Gavin mumbled a few curses. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and Geoff frowned - his injured hand was swelling by now, the area around the thumb nearly black with bruising. 

“We need to get off the road,” Gavin said, and Geoff nodded - if someone did come after them they’d be sitting ducks.

“It’ll be dark soon,” he said worriedly, and Gavin nodded.

The chance to rest in the car had done him some good; he was able to limp along with Geoff’s support as they left the car and headed down a thin winding track that led off the trail they’d been driving on. It was growing darker and darker and the temperature dropped with the sunlight. Where it had been scorching hot before it soon turned freezing cold, and when Geoff spied some buildings up ahead he could have sobbed in relief.

“There,” he said, picking up the pace a little, Gavin hobbling beside him.

The building was just a shed of some sort, he realised - standing alone in the scrubland. It looked like it had fallen into disuse a long time ago and the rusted door screeched horribly when Geoff pushed it, but it was better than being out in the open.

The door shut behind them and they were plunged into near total darkness. There was a little moonlight this far out from the city, just enough for Geoff to see Gavin by as he lowered him down to sit against the wall.

Finally they were safe, or something like it at least, and he felt the panic and adrenaline of the day fade away leaving him nothing but exhausted.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, pushing the collar of Gavin’s shirt down to check on his shoulder. He’d made a makeshift bandage to keep pressure on the wound earlier but it was already spotted through, though the bleeding had stopped at least.

“Chest hurts,” Gavin replied, voice small. There was a nasty wheeze to his voice that Geoff didn’t like.

“You gonna be sick again?”

“Don’t think there’s anything left for me to throw up,” Gavin replied, with a scoffing sort of laugh.

Geoff tugged his collar back up. He’d put his jacket over Gavin in the car but it was dreadfully cold in here and they were both shivering. He shifted closer to Gavin and wrapped his arm around him, tugging the jacket around them both. Pulled the other man into his side until Gavin’s head fell against his shoulder and he huddled in under his arm. His clothes were still damp from before. All they could do was cuddle together for some semblance of warmth.

A quiet fell over them. It hit Geoff then, the events of the day. How fucking helpless he’d felt. How close Gavin had come to being terribly maimed or even killed. He turned and pressed his face into Gavin’s hair, planting a kiss to the top of his head, and heard him give a soft murmur.

“I’m sorry,” Geoff whispered, and Gavin stirred against him.

“You keep saying that,” he replied. “Why?”

“I fucked up. I let them hurt you.”

“For God’s sake, Geoff, I don’t… of course I don’t blame you for that. We don’t give them what they want, that’s - that’s how it goes. I’m not mad at you for not telling them.”

“But I did tell them.”

Gavin went very quiet then, and an upset overtook Geoff. He started to pull away a bit, thinking his boyfriend angry with him, but Gavin followed him, stayed pressed close up against his side.

“You told them to stop them from…” he paused, took a shuddering breath, as though what had happened was only really hitting him now as well. “To stop him hurting me more. I can’t be angry at you for that either.” 

“I fucked everything up, though, Gav, I did everything wrong.” The shame was overtaking him now, he could barely stand to think of how _weak_ he’d been. “I didn’t hold out so Burnie and Gus are fucked now. But I - if I was gonna end up telling them I should have just fucking done it at the start. He got what he wanted and he still hurt you anyway, it’s just - lose lose, it’s fucking lose lose.”

“We’re alive,” Gavin assured him softly, but it felt like an attempt to pacify him.

Geoff fell silent then; he could feel his hands shaking. 

This wasn’t okay, none of it was okay. He had failed Burnie and Gus, failed Gavin, failed the crew. Failed _himself_.

He was fairly confident by nature, and in his time lording over everyone in AC he had never once come up against something that truly shook him, that made him feel like he couldn’t get it under control.

But this - this had been different.

It wasn’t like the possibility hadn’t been there earlier, that they could be used against each other. But having it become a reality was more terrible than he had ever imagined. Big Nose’s words swam into his head again.  _You’re weak. Look where it got you. Pathetic_.

“Geoff,” Gavin said quietly, sensing his tension. “Geoff, please, Geoff, don’t blame yourself for this.”

There was no way he could _not_ blame himself for this.

“Geoff.” Gavin sat up a bit, leaning in and placing a cold hand to the back of Geoff’s neck, turning his face towards his. “Come on, love, I don’t… I don’t even know what I would’ve done if it’d been swapped around. There was nothing else you could have done; you tried not to give in but he didn’t give you much of a bloody choice. It’s not your fault, none of this is.”

Saying even that much wreaked havoc on his voice and Geoff - Geoff gave in, if only for now. If only for Gavin, to stop him worrying. He nodded and whispered “Okay,” - a lie - felt Gavin relax against his side. Easily accepting it, hoping that his words had brought Geoff around even if they really, really hadn’t.

But for now they were here, for now he could at least hold Gavin and try to keep him warm. And he felt the other man bury his face into his shoulder and then fall more silent than Geoff had ever seen him before. He was still trembling but Geoff was pretty sure it wasn’t only from the cold. It seemed as the adrenaline ran down the torment he’d been put through was catching up to him. And they’d seen shit before - they’d been hurt worse - but it didn’t get easier, not really, and especially not since today had been different, targeted at them and designed to hurt in places they’d tried to keep under wraps.

All he could do was curl in around Gavin protectively, stroke a soothing hand up and down his back and try to muster some warmth between them.

* * *

  
They were half frozen by the time the others found them. 

It had only gotten colder and colder as the night wore on and though at first Geoff hadn’t wanted to aggravate any of Gavin’s injuries, before long he had little choice other than to pull him as close as possible, tangling their limbs together, wrapped around each other as tightly as they could get. Even then they were both shivering violently.

Geoff had drifted off into a strange sort of daze but he jolted back awake when he heard the screech of the shed door. He scrambled up in alarm, pulling out the knife as he saw beams of torchlight slanting into the room.

“Geoff?” an achingly familiar voice called out, and relief slammed into him like a truck.

_Michael._

“Geoff!” Michael bounded over to him, dropping to his knees beside him - Jack was close on his heels, the others nowhere to be seen. “Oh, fucking shit on a stick, you’re both frozen solid…”

He trailed off as the beam of his torch landed on them and Geoff _saw_ the rage cross his face. He reached out, gently, tracing his fingers along Geoff’s jaw. He struggled not to flinch.

“Who did this?” Michael demanded, voice low and dangerous. Geoff rarely heard him speak like that, he normally went for maximum volume. Somehow this was far more terrifying than any amount of raging.

“Some assholes,” he replied, “Those guys that fucked our bank heist a couple months back.”

“Oh Jesus, Geoff,” Jack said, coming up next to them as well, his face twisting when he landed eyes on them.

Geoff hadn’t had a chance to see his own face but he figured it must be bad if they were reacting that way. He turned, though, gathering Gavin up in his arms.

“Gav’s in worse shape than I am, we need to get him to a doctor stat,” he said. Gavin’s lack of response to the others coming in had him concerned; he tugged the other man upright and found that while he was awake and looking around his eyes were dazed, a little unfocused. He’d lost his voice completely; he managed to hone his gaze in on Michael and opened his mouth, but no sound came out save a pathetic sort of rasp.

Michael and Jack were practically vibrating in rage now. They were already stripping off their jackets, moving to put them around their boyfriends. Geoff raised his shaking hand to pull Jack’s coat tighter around his shoulders, let the other man move to help him up as Michael stepped forward to pick up Gavin. 

The moment Jack’s warm arm came down around his shoulders he felt the dam break. It was such a relief to have them there, after everything that had happened, that it was all he could do to stop himself from clinging to Jack and not moving, never letting go.

“Geoff?” Jack prompted, and he had to tell him - had to admit it even if the shame was a burning sting in his gut.

“I told them, Jack, I - I fucking spilled to them. They know about Burnie and Gus, you have to warn them.”

“Geoff-”

“They hurt Gav, I couldn’t… I couldn’t sit there and… I broke, Jack, I broke-”

“Geoff!” Jack cut in. His eyes wide and pained. Geoff couldn’t look at him. He was vaguely aware of Michael glancing at them in concern, but the other man was more occupied with carrying Gavin out to the the car, and soon the two of them were left there alone.

“Geoff, it’s okay,” Jack said, hands coming up to cup his cheeks - gently, putting no pressure on the bruises.

“It’s not fucking okay.”

“Yes it is. We found you. We’ll find the guys who did this and we’ll fuck them up. No one messes with us, alright? I’ll warn Burnie and Gus. They’ll be fine.”

Geoff closed his eyes, but a moment later felt the soft press of lips against his. He kissed Jack back slowly, tentatively. Half felt like he didn’t deserve it, not after what he’d done, but Jack kept an insistent grip on his shoulders, and by this point Geoff was just - tired. So tired. Exhausted enough that he let it all drop for the moment, let himself just focus on the fact that the others were here, now, and at least part of this nightmare was all over.

* * *

  
The apartment was very warm, almost too warm, the sort of dry heat that comes with leaving a radiator on too long. Geoff sat in front of the heater, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a mug of coffee on the ground before him, trying to thaw out.

A soft sigh came from behind him and he turned to see Ryan closing his laptop where he sat at the table. They were alone in the flat; the others had all gone with Gavin to the hospital. Ryan rose and came over to him, plopping down to sit cross legged beside him on the floor. His gaze traced over Geoff’s face and he frowned a bit.

He looked like shit, he knew - had seen himself in the mirror when he went to clean himself up. His whole face was swollen and purpling with bruises. Short thick cuts in places where the brass knuckles had broken his skin. 

“His name is Wes,” Ryan said then. 

“Who? Big Nose?” Geoff asked, and Ryan nodded.

“I’m tracking him down now. Soon as he realised you’d escaped he took off like the fucking wind, but don’t worry. I’ll find him.” A beat. “And then I will kill him.”

“Good,” Geoff ground out, turning away and wrapping his fingers around the warm mug. They still had not stopped shaking, and after a second Ryan reached out and closed his hand over Geoff’s, holding him still.

“Geoff,” he said, softly.

Geoff turned to him slowly. He expected anger, rage - for Ryan to go all cold and detached like he did when he got really mad about something, not stopping until whatever it was had been completely annihilated. But now he just looked tired and a bit sad and somewhere under all of it, vulnerable.

“None of us begrudge you what you did,” he said. “Not telling them at first or telling them at the end. It’s hard. I don’t know what I would have done. But it’s different for you, you’re the leader, you have that pressure on you.”

“I have responsibilities.” It came out flat, almost recited. “To the crew but - but also to Gav, you know? And they were pitted against each other today and there was nothing I could fucking do about it.”

“So you know it’s not your fault, then,” Ryan began, but Geoff shook his head.

“It is my fault, Ry. It’s my fault because they should never have been in conflict, I - it was stupid of me to think this could work, that I could lead the crew the way I need to and keep you all safe at the same time.”

“We were doing fine. We _are_ doing fine-”

“Until what? Until the next time someone grabs Gavin, or Michael, or _you_ and then what? Then what do I fucking do?”

It was a conversation they’d had a hundred times over and never quite managed to come up with a solution to. There was no denying that the fact they were all so close was a liability; that had become painfully, acutely apparent today.

And even now Ryan hadn’t an answer for him. What he did do was take Geoff firmly by the shoulders, pull him close.

“We’ll be fine,” he insisted. “We’ll work it out, we always do.”

And maybe he was right. They would heal and there was a future beyond this. But right now Geoff could not think beyond _here, now_ , and how he didn’t think he could do this anymore, this business where to come out on top you had to be tough and ruthless and-

 _Weak,_ Big Nose - Wes’ - voice rang in his head. Today he had been _weak_.

* * *

  
He had terrible dreams that night.

He could not even remember them afterwards. They were lurking undefined things. Just a constant nagging feeling of helplessness, a knowledge that somewhere Gavin was being hurt terribly and he couldn’t stop it. He kept waking up and drifting back off and feeling bits of senseless information that for some reason he thought were true.

That Burnie and Gus were being hunted down.

That Wes had cut Gavin’s eyes out.

That they hadn’t escaped the room yet, that they still needed to get out.

That Gavin was dead.

He woke up eventually in a cold sweat, shooting upright with a muffled gasp, heart slamming in his chest. Hands were on his shoulders immediately, massaging, soothing, a voice murmuring comforts into his ear. He barely registered them, and it wasn’t until he calmed down that he realised he was in one of the smaller bedrooms. That it was Ray sitting beside him.

“Okay?” the other man whispered.

Geoff didn’t have a reply to that. It wasn’t okay, at all, but he let himself be pulled into a hug.

“How’s Gav?” Geoff asked softly. Murmured the words into Ray’s shoulder.

“Got pneumonia. Michael and Jack are at the hospital with him still. He’ll be fine, though, he’s stable. Should be back home soon.”

Geoff closed his eyes. Ray was peppering butterfly-light kisses over his face now, careful not to press too hard. And it was nice, comforting, but all he could think was that if anyone ever took Ray as well he’d be in the same situation all over again - the same with all of his boys - and suddenly, suddenly he didn’t even know how for so long they had managed to balance this, to keep going when one or all of them were so often in danger.

He was just rattled, he knew. This had shaken him up. In days or weeks or months or the next time they pulled a heist he would remember why he loved this, how the danger and exhilaration of it all had been part of what drew him to the others in the first place.

But for now, for now it seemed like the most terrible thing in the world. For now he wanted the safe, the mundane, and any thoughts of reputation flew out the window.

* * *

  
They tracked Wes and his men to a safehouse in Achievement City. The swelling had gone down a little on Geoff’s face but it was still visible, streaking yellow and green marks that covered his whole face.

He wore a mask.

They all did, he and Ryan and Ray and Jack, when they stormed the place with guns blazing. Got the group of them down on their knees with their hands behind their heads very quickly. Geoff relished the look of fear on Wes’ face when he realised he was outdone. No clever remarks from him now. 

He remained silent through the entire operation, hung back and watched. Part of him wanted to be the one to exact vengeance but another part - another part just wanted to stay away, to be clean of the whole thing. To let the others take action on his part. He had been involved in this enough already.

It was not Ryan who went full grisly-revenge on the men, surprisingly, though he did assist very eagerly. It was Ray, Ray who took the lead in beating them to within an inch of their lives, getting creative with a knife and then coming up with the idea that it would be poetically just to drown them.

Geoff did not feel good afterwards, not the way he had with that first man. But he did feel satisfied, and that was something for now, like a door had been shut and closed off and he didn’t have to think of what was behind it any more.

“How did he know about us?” he asked, as they watched the bodies sink like stones to the bottom of the lake. A nagging thought that was part of what haunted his dreams at night.

Jack glanced across at him. “What?”

“He knew. He knew we were in a relationship. That’s why he figured he could use Gavin to get me to crack.” He swallowed. Wes had drifted out of sight by now, to the bottom of those murky depths. 

“I don’t know,” Jack replied. Exchanged a concerned glance with the others. “I’ll send Kerry out, see if he can pick up anything. Work out how many people might know about it.”

Geoff nodded. And he was the leader, he was meant to be in charge here, except now it was Ryan who turned away and led them all back to the cars, leaving the drowning men behind them.

* * *

  
Gavin was back home and he was fine.

“The food was terrible,” was the first thing he declared, upon returning from the hospital. It was good to have him back in the apartment; whenever one of them left there was always a too-obvious empty space that they just couldn’t fill. “I had no idea so many things could be pureed and put in little yoghurt tubs. If anyone tries to feed me rice pudding I will crash their car.” The most alarming thing about that statement being that it was a threat he could feasibly act on.

“Let me sign your cast, boi,” Michael replied immediately, and Gavin stuck his arm out.

“You’re only allowed to draw dicks on it if you give them smiley faces and sunglasses.”

“Right,” Ray said, already going for a Sharpie. “Gotta be swaggy dicks, after all.”

And he seemed fine - that settled something in Geoff a little - except they couldn’t just write off what had happened. He could see it in the little ways the others were more protective of him, how they didn’t leave him back at the apartment alone, how they kept their eyes on him whenever he was in the room. They got like this whenever anyone got caught or hurt, and Geoff knew it would wear off, but for now he couldn’t help doing it too.

While most of Gavin’s injuries hadn’t been overly visible - the bruising having gone down while he was in hospital - there was a thin scar across his cheek where the knife had cut him, and Geoff knew there’d be another on his shoulder. Even now he couldn’t move that arm too much without wincing.

And at night - at night he would wake up with little lurching gasps like he thought he was drowning again. Gasping and gasping for breath until he seemed to realise he was fine and then calmed down.

None of the others mentioned it. They all had their share of nightmares, about a variety of things, and they’d long come to a mutual agreement not to make anyone talk about anything they didn’t want to. But every time he heard Gavin whimper in his sleep or struggle for air it brought it back to him. That freezing room, his wrists stinging and bloody from trying to get free. Watching Gavin thrash as his head was held under the water.

He was not surprised when Gavin eventually came to him, getting him alone - quite the feat considering Ryan and Michael had basically permanently attached themselves to his side since he got back.

“Geoff,” Gavin said quietly, joining him out on the balcony. Something cold brushed his arm and Geoff turned to see a beer bottle; he took it and gave Gavin a small smile before shifting over on the bench he was sitting on, letting him squeeze in beside him.

“So what’s going on?” Gavin asked, almost immediately.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, Geoff, you’ve been pulling away the last few days.”

He thought about this and determined that it was true, even if it had perhaps not been a fully conscious decision. He hadn’t gone out at all, had barely engaged himself in crew business and he supposed he’d been fairly quieter.

Gavin nudged him gently. “I’m okay, you know. I was more traumatised by my ball surgery than this.” He grimaced. “Although I probably won’t go swimming for a bit.”

“Gavin…”

“I mean it, Geoff, you have to stop beating yourself up over this.”

He knew that. He knew that, logically, except he _couldn’t_ , not when he still felt as though he’d failed them all. Like falling off a bike and being too scared to get back on, he was wary to assume the mantle of leader again.

“It’s gonna kill me to see you out in the field again,” he settled on, and Gavin scoffed.

“No, it won’t,” he said. “You’ll be fine. You tried to pull this shit on Ray after he got kidnapped that time. We do not want a repeat of the rocket launcher.”

Geoff rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile a little; he’d forgotten that. And he remembered now, all the times it had happened with the others, how he’d tried to keep them back away from danger and always ended up having to face that he _couldn’t_ ; that if he wanted their operations to work he had to think as their leader, not their boyfriend.

He couldn’t do that now because _weak_ , he remembered Wes saying, _you can’t have it all._

“Also,” Gavin said, “Literally no one is mad at you except yourself. Not even Burnie and Gus.”

“Really.” He hadn’t spoken to them yet.

“Really,” Gavin replied. “I mean, he was about to cut out my eye for Chrissake. I’d’ve had to wear an eyepatch. I don’t think I can pull off an eyepatch.”

“No, you really couldn’t.”

“Look like the bloody Corpirate.” He huffed a bit. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, like, selfishly relieved when you stopped him, even if you did it by telling him. But look, it turned out fine. We got out and tracked them down and killed him so stop this, okay? I don’t like seeing you upset all the time. I’m _fine_ , you’re fine, we’re all fine - it’s okay, okay?”

It was the sort of debonair attitude that usually led Gavin to do things like appropriate speedboats and blow up service stations, and as usual Geoff couldn’t help but be infected. He let the other man pull him forward into a kiss - Gavin clutching the front of Geoff’s shirt tightly as he dragged him closer, their lips pressing together almost painfully hard. There was something frantic in it, something desperate, and when Gavin pulled back he gave a lazy grin and said “That was good. All them in there keep treating me like I’m gonna break if they touch me too hard.”

Geoff’s silence was a little guilty; Gavin slapped at his arm.

“Which I’m _not_ ,” he insisted, “Because contrary to what you all seem to think I actually am quite durable.”

“Of course, Gav,” Geoff replied. “That’s why you complained for three days when you stubbed your toe on the coffee table.”

“Hey it was _broken_ , okay, I’m sure that it was broken. It swelled up an’ all!” Gavin slapped playfully at him and managed to knock his beer right off the edge of the balcony; it fell away as they watched it and when it disappeared from sight they just exchanged a wide-eyed, startled look.

“That better not land on someone,” Geoff said, pointing a finger at Gavin warningly.

He broke down into giggles. “Oh God, that would be the worst way we ever killed someone by _far_. Beer bottle falling from the sky.”

Geoff smiled back and when Gavin settled into the seat, tucking himself comfortably against Geoff’s side and began to chatter about some heist or another he and Jack had been coming up with (and no they were _not_ going to land a plane in the middle of the main road, Jesus) - Geoff let himself listen, let himself believe that they could pull it off and it would be fine and he would be right there with them, running on the excitement of it all, that things would settle back to normal.

* * *

  
Things did settle back to normal, though it took time, of course.

Burnie came over a few days after that. He and Gus were fine - Ryan had tracked down Wes and his men before they could do anything, though the two cops had laid low for a bit and Geoff was avoiding calling them in on anything.

He and Gavin were the only ones in the flat when Burnie came around. When he saw Gavin he hugged him tightly, which Gavin took as a cue to jump up and wrap his legs around him like an octopus until Burnie gave in and carried him to the couch.

“You alright, Gavvo?” Burnie asked - said it lightly but Geoff, sitting at the table nearby, could hear the undercurrent of concern.

“I am top bananas,” Gavin replied immediately. “The guy who did this? Ryan and Ray cut _so_ many bits off him, I-”

Whereupon he broke off gagging, having successfully made himself ill with the mental picture. Burnie just rolled his eyes fondly and reached out to mess Gavin’s hair until his hand was slapped away.

“Want to sign my cast?” Gavin asked, when he had recovered himself.

“Sure. Doesn’t look like there’s much room on it, though,” Burnie added, taking Gavin’s arm in hand and turning it over. “Okay, who wrote ‘ _My name is Gavin and I broke my thumb wanking too much’_?”

“That would be Michael, the prick,” Gavin huffed. “Did it while I was sleeping. That is absolutely not true, by the way.”

“I regret to admit that I know enough about your masturbation habits to _know_ it’s not true.” He reached for a permanent marker and Geoff heard them veer off into another conversation, related less to crime and more about what they had recently seen on Reddit.

He couldn’t avoid Burnie forever, of course, and as soon as Gavin went off to the bathroom the other man came and sat down next to him.

“Geoff,” Burnie said, very seriously.

Geoff looked up at him. Burnie was looking at him with something like concern and he knew they were all worried; knew he’d been quiet and tired lately and they were still trying to snap him back out of it. And he was getting there, slowly, the thought of getting back into it was not quite as terrifying as he had found it a few weeks ago, especially since the others had started going out again, pulling little jobs and then coming back and talking them up like they were the most exciting things in the world.

“I’m not mad at you,” Burnie said right away. “It’s _Gavin_ , what were you meant to do?”

Geoff nodded, and even if he’d known that Burnie didn’t blame him - would never have; he was pretty fucking close to Gavin himself - to hear it from his mouth was a relief.

“Also you should know that Jack has been sending me very worried phone calls. And emails. And text messages.”

“I’m fine.”

“Except for the part where you’re apparently considering retirement.”

Geoff sat up a bit; he hadn’t - except he had, kind of, he supposed. It had been there, a faint lurking thing at the back of his mind, _we could just… stop. Just stop._

“Luckily your friendly neighbourhood law enforcement is here to change your mind,” Burnie said, and Geoff started to roll his eyes, but Burnie looked quite serious now. “I mean it. I’ve been with you this whole time, Geoff, I’ve seen you work your way to the top, and you know when you got together with the others things got way better for you.”

“They did,” Geoff murmured, though he wasn’t quite registering it until Burnie grabbed his arm again.

“I _mean it_ , Geoff, it’s not a weakness or whatever the fuck you’re thinking. You and I have both seen it, the people who get to the top on their own end up dying on their own because they don’t have anyone there who’s got their back. You’ve got five people. Five amazingly talented and quite terrifyingly dangerous people. The fifth one is me, by the way, since Gav is neither amazingly talented nor terrifyingly dangerous-”

“You haven’t seen him in the bedroom,” Geoff cut in, and Burnie roared with laughter.

“Don’t plant that mental image, thanks. I mean it, though. This was a one-off thing. I don’t know how that prick found out about you guys but I’ve kept my ears open and shit’s still pretty secret; everyone still thinks you’re just a crew. And you might think you gave in but by holding out as long as you did before telling them you bought a fuckload of time. You broke any sooner and they’d’ve had time to get away and really start causing trouble for Gus and I. Okay?”

“Okay,” Geoff replied, and perhaps it was stupid but that did actually make him feel a lot better, and when Gavin returned and the three of them promptly started up a friendly argument for the first time in a long time he found himself able to focus on his boyfriend’s face, his laugh, what he was saying, instead of the memory of watching him suffer in front of him.

* * *

  
Michael curled up next to him that night and when Geoff woke panting after another bad dream he was there, kissing him gently, letting Geoff cling to him like a lifeline.

“I wanted to say thanks,” Michael murmured after he’d calmed down; Ray was in the bed with them but sleeping like a log, Ryan was out and the other two were in the other bedroom.

Geoff turned to him, straining to see him in the dark. “Thanks for what?"

“Stopping him hurting Gavin too badly,” Michael replied. “My boi’s gotta have his eyes otherwise how will he see my victorious expression when I beat him at Mario Party.”

Geoff frowned, confused. “Why are you thanking me? Of course I wasn’t gonna let him….”

 _Oh_ , he realised, as it came to him what Michael was saying. That there had been no other choice, that even if he was beating himself up over it what he’d done was the obvious decision, the best decision, the only one he could have hoped to made. The one any of the others would have made too.

“You did everything right you know,” Michael murmured. His hands very warm as he held Geoff in the dark. And maybe he would believe that, in time, because no matter how many times he ran what had happened over in his head he could never come up with a better solution. And it had worked out, hadn’t it? They were here and alive and Gavin was fine, he was healing, there hadn’t been any devastating permanent damage be it mental or physical and-

And they were right, it seemed, the only person left to forgive him was himself and maybe at Michael’s words he realised at last that there was nothing at all to forgive.

* * *

  
“Alpha two in position.”

“Big Dick Jones in position.”

“No Middle Name in position.”

“Flibbledorp Gobmeister in position.”

“I swear to fucking God this is the last time I let you all pick your own codenames,” Geoff growled into the comm as he raised his binoculars, scanning across the buildings on the opposite side of the road to where Ray was laying on his stomach on the roof, rifle at his shoulder as he watched the shop they were hitting through the scope. Gavin was crouched beside him and seemed more concerned with adjusting his fly than watching his target. “Ryan? Where you at?”

“Mad King in position. Just as soon as I set this parking meter on fire, it’s annoying me.”

“Fucking Christ,” Geoff muttered, but there was a fond smile on his face he couldn’t quite erase. 

As he waited for Ryan something nervous grew in his gut. It had taken a long time to work up to this heist, longer than he perhaps wanted to admit, but they had done it, there were here. He’d put more planning into this than he ever had to a job before. Stupid little precautions like making sure no one was alone or out of sight of the others. Putting Gavin up on a roof away from the main action. Making sure it was a location where there were no creeping little alleyways around that someone could nab them from.

And himself. It had taken a fuckload of mental preparation to even work up to going out with them all again. He’d barely slept a wink last night and even now his hands were shaking a little.

But there was excitement there too, under it all. It had been ages and a familiar longing was there under the fear. For excitement and action and danger and to get back out there, to run with his boys again the way they always did, ruling the city and causing chaos and coming home smelling of blood and gunpowder with money they didn’t actually care all that much about. Passionate adrenaline-fuelled kisses and grasping hands.

He swallowed. Lifted the binoculars back up to see Ray wave at him and Gavin blow a kiss. Panned about to where Michael was waiting - just visible in the shadows under the shop’s awning; he was grinning, wide and wild and fierce, eyes blazing with anticipation. Heard Jack chuckle low in his ear at something Ryan said that he’d missed.

He felt it then, that familiar flaming rush of exhilaration, because here, now, this was what they did, the six of them against the world. He counted the seconds down in his head before the heist was to begin and they were all in place, working together, him at the head and he knew what he was doing, knew he’d planned this out fine and he would lead them and-

And they always came out okay, even if it was with scars.

“Alright Fake AH Crew,” he declared. And his voice did not shake and his hands did not shake either when he opened the car door and stepped out, mask in place, moving to draw his gun in one fluid motion. “Let’s do this.”


End file.
